fitNasti - Coming Soon! New Website development!

So life has been hectic as hell recently. All I do is work, work, work and crazily enough having carbs helps, weird right? I've spent basically every free minutes of everyday this week working on that paper for my Plato class and it's still not top quality. Somehow I will survive this. It helps that I'm not crying continuously anymore - thank god. I don't even know what my deal was with that but I was just totally overwhelmed in all ways. I just couldn't get myself to calm the freak down. I kept calling Jamey in total tears, repeating the phrase "I just don't understand why I'm like this." I still don't understand why I was like that. I admit, I cried a little bit today when I was in the stacks re-shelving but it was a moment of happiness. I was listening to some sappy uplifting power music and realized for a split second ... that I did it. I DID IT! And not only did I do it, but I PLACED. This still hasn't set in at all.

I've been having lots of fitNasti moments recently. My skin is nasty from the protan and hives. I'm all scaly like a sad little lizard. This is somehow appropriate since my parents used to call me "nink the skink" when I was a kid. You should see my elbows where the cracks look like an arid desert dipped in chocolate. I still have some eyelash glue that won't quite rub off and everytime I ponderously rub my chin in philosophy class I get a big fat skin shed. My arm pits look like I deodorize with dirt and you can see literally every hair follicle on my legs from the stubborn remaining pigment. My calves are all jacked up and cramping all the time. Dr. Gray says it's from the dehydration and all I can do for now is heat them and massage them. Youchies.

Today, as I sat in my parent's van outside of the art studio and munched away on my bison and broccoli, a campus cop rolled by and gave me the classic "wtf" look that I've gotten so used to over these last 4 months. It was then that I realized I like being fitNasti. I sort of enjoy the license to pick out the last bits of broc from the bottom of my flimsy, stained, and stinky tupperware with my tacky-glittery fake nails. I like carrying around an entire gallon of water all day and inappropriately slurping it out of the jug in class. I like taking out my gum, putting it on the side of my tupperware lid, eating my sweet potato in two giants bites, and then picking off the gum with my aforementioned nails and returning to chewing it - it's even better if it's in class. There are other things that I realized I missed too - like having to pee all the time because I am super hydrated. I am well pleased with rushing to the bathroom a billion times a night because my body is saturated with H2O.

There are some fitNasti moments that occurred recently which made me think "one week ago this would have made me cry" - simple things like spilling my entire gallon of water on my chair in Japanese class today and soaking my pants... and that I am unable to get rid of that stupid fish smell pervading my room (even though I haven't eaten fish since last week!).

Not all fitNasti moments are necessarily nasty... For example I am really excited about my new project with fellow artist and friend Daniel Jackson, who is developing my new website:

fitnasti.com

We're hoping to get it up as soon as possible and we've been working hard on it during studio hours. At some point we'll be able to move the blog over to that site permanently and give everything a little more of a professional feel. The more professional fitNasti gets the more likely we'll get sponsorship... right?

fitNasti hasn't gotten ranty and angry recently so it seems like a good time to do that. I am so sick of hearing people comment on my recent success by saying things like
1. You are so SMALL [ok, I get it, I'm petite but seriously....]
2. Is placing 5th... good? [Hell yeah it is]
3. When will you eat real food/Shouldn't you be eating a hershey's bar right now? [SWEET POTATOES]
4. Are you glad it's over? Was it a let down?
5. You look like you gained back some weight.... [I would HOPE SO]

and MOST OF ALL I am tired of skinny little betches emailing and messaging me about how now that I've done my competition and placed they think they want to do a competition too. And they barrage me with annoying questions which reveal their ignorance... telling me about how healthy they are so how easy it will be for them to transition. My question is who are you, how did you find me, and why do you think I want to hear you toot your own horn? I will be ignoring these messages. To you I dedicate this picture that Heather sent me:On the other hand I've been getting some very respectful emails from some great girls who I know are serious and not purely flippant when they say they want to try a competition. To these girls I give Jill's information and wish them the best - if you truly want it you can do it. By this I mean you have to want it without a win and without a placement. This desire has to come from deep within for you to pull through it, especially your first time. I hope to see some new Jillfit girls on the stage soon :D

It's day two of heavy lifting and I'm own my own T/TR with no Kimmie. I'm sort of nervous to be lifting this heavy on my own, but I've gotta confront that and push through. It's leg shaping day and I hope my calf cramps hold up through it!