Getting Graceful...

So it's official: I smell. And no, it's not that unshowered smell either (I actually can boast to not have that issue). This is the asparagus-broccoli-bean smell that leaks out of my pores, emminating around the room. And then there's the PFs... so embarassing. I try not to stay in one place for too long because I don't want anyone to figure out that it's me causing that awful compost-bin aroma. I'm blushing just writing this. On this note, one of my co-workers asked me today if I had to monitor my BMs and weigh them. Yes, and no (weighing them? c'mon that's weird). Monitoring is somewhat necessary... especially for someone with as sensitive GI issues as me. Hypertrophy diet is amazing, but not on my intestines which rebel against SPs in all of their glory. My poor, sweet roommate Ellen isn't saying anything but I know it must be terrible to have to live with me like this. I haven't emptied the trash can as obsessively as I usually do because I think in someway if it stinks too then I can blame the rancid odor of my room on that instead. As I fall asleep at night releasing my toxins.... I can hear Ellen in the other room spraying febreeze. I am so sorry. It's a good thing Jamey isn't here to witness this. I feel really disgusting even relating this to you, my readers, but fitNasti is all about the truth... and this is the terrible truth. There is hope for the future though - in several weeks I'll have adjusted and sooner than I know it I'll be on my 6 weeks out diet and the smell issue will minimize itself. Jill is also looking for a nutraceutical-grade fiber for my general distresses. This is the sad little life I lead.

The days are just whipping by for me. I think the feeling of impending doom with my first exam less than a week away. I'm also cramming my days full of work in the true spirit of being myself. Yeah, I've always found a way to drain my days of any and all free time, even before I was a competitor. Back in the day it used to be schoolwork 24/7. Glad I found something less nerdy ;) Jamey claims that my athletic metamorphasis is just another sign that I am an overachiever. I don't know what would give him that idea.


Yesterday I had my first stage-presence/posing practice session with Maria and it was fantastic. She put in a Santana CD and we got working! I've uploaded it to my ipod to help me get in touch with that inner essence Maria is encouraging me to discover. Maria makes me feel so comfortable with myself and assured of my own success. She told me that when I am on stage I must protect that moment in the way I protect and cherish the people and things in my life that are the most important. When I am on stage it will be my time to give a gift to the audience and acknowledge my judges. Maria explained that what the judges are looking for isn't all the technical stuff they'd seen a hundred times before. What they wanted to see was my essence. She said, "they see what you have, now they want to see what you can do with it". I will show them! I'm soaking it all up. I AM going to rock that stage in June. I'm practicing my t-walk in my heels tonight and I'm bringing them along for my stacks hour tomorrow. I'll be "walking a straight line" in tiny steps like Maria suggested - she explained that being short made longer strides make me look too bouncy and sort of ridiculous. Well, we don't want that - it's time to get graceful! I know that each moment of practice is building up to something more beautiful.

5-inch heels! (this is not my foot)