Finding fitNasti

I spent the last six weeks in a wonderland. I was honored to once again student-teach this summer at NC's Governor's School West for visual art. I was also an on-hall counselor, also referred to as a Teacher Assistant Counselor or TAC. This year I was able to become super-close to 13 amazing teenage girls, just on the brink of self-discovery. Last year was a lot more about teaching and preparing myself for my upcoming school year, but this summer was so much more! With school behind me, I realized I was in a very similar place of self actualization as my young ladies. As I heard them talk about their worries, their passions, their wide-eyed wonder and listened to their insight and curious maturity, I found myself embroiled in the same issues. Who am I? Where am I going? How will I get there? Am I good enough to do what I want? What if things don't turn out the way I plan? On top of this: Am I pretty? Am I loved? What does it mean to be a women in this society? Can I be strong, and if so, when can I be weak? All these questions and more flooded into my life.

It's hard to sit down and think when the only thing going through your head is surviving 'til your next meal, or how many minutes of cardio there are left in the day, or for that matter, how many days of this grueling feeling are left. I'm 22 and my WHOLE life is ahead of me- why am I so concerned about competing? One of my role models, Jill Coleman, gave me some really good advice. There will ALWAYS be shows, but there will NOT always be new beginnings. With a little encouragement I became able to look beyond what I had become so used to and see a very beautiful and full world around me.

Eating clean has become sort of... fun, day I say it? I've found it really easy to get back on the band wagon after several weeks of freaking out and eating far too many Baby Ruth's (mmm soooo good). I've discovered that my favorite meal is 4 boiled egg whites,a handful of almonds, and a grapefruit! It's refreshing and so easy to prepare and transport. I eat this way too often when I'm lazy... oooor when I'm living out of a mini-fridge in an airconditionless dorm for the duration of 6 weeks. There was a whole week that it was 103 in my room and I was sweating perpetually. Maybe I sweated out some toxins?

I did something else crazy - I took a full week off exercising! That's right - I didn't get up and do cardio. I didn't even think about lifting a weight. It was super, super refreshing! I was able to focus on eating clean, my students, and my whole life coming undone and getting back together again.

I've accidentally stumbled into a very post-college situation: I'm driving across the country! The big difference is that I'm becoming a nomad! All my property is going into a storage unit this week. Then I'm driving to the airport, doing NYC with my Aunt Laura, flying back to NC, staying the night with a friend, and then making a 3 day, 33hr drive out to SLC, UT to be with my hotshot hero!

It's all an adventure now, and so much more exciting! I'm looking forward to searching for my clean meals, finding fun and unconventional ways to work out along the way, and doing whatever I want at the gym. It's about having FUN with fitness now. I'm on a journey to discover balance - with food, fitness, and my figure ;) I've stayed surprising lean, but I'd like to be just a few notches down on the body fat % and a few notches up on the lean muscle mass (they go together). I want a sick upper body, what can I say!

If there's wifi availability over the next few weeks I'll keep you in the fitNasti loop you've been out of while I've been in la-la land aka Gov School :D